Forty Nine years down....how many more do I have to face?

I know the title sounds cryptic. I've come to the conclusion that I am alone in this world. My legs and back continue to get worse on a daily basis. There are some days that I wake up and I am upset that I have lived another day. But I have to continue on because of my parents and my children.
I have always surrounded myself with friends cause I was always afraid to be alone. That stems from all the time I spent by myself as an only child. I guess that is why I married the woman I did, I was scared to be alone and I stayed in that loveless marriage because of that fear. I was no longer alone but I was in a strange relationship. But two wonderful things happened in that relationship, my two kids.
Their mother and I are no longer together, she told me she needed a break and that was 8 years ago next month. Sometimes I miss her but she confirms that we had to go our separate ways, on a daily basis. What I really miss in life is holding hands and the gentle kiss of a woman lips. The really strange thing in this adventure is that I have found my way back to an old friend who I had always carried a torch for. who knows what lies in the future.
Work is another strange world. The different personalities that exist there are too numerous to mention. Their are a number of persons who come in like Jeckle and Hyde, you never know who is coming in to work. But we survive, you will learn more about this workplace in the coming weeks because I am going to try to blog about my life each day and let all those who are interested into the mind of Rocking Roger.
Today was interesting, I got up at 8:30 pm figuring I shit, shower and shave. Then off to get my kids for the day. I called my son and he told me to pick him up in and hour. He would be finished with his studying with his mom. Well, I waited two hours and drove then 10 miles to their house, only to find that they would not be ready for a couple of hours. If I had known that, I wouldn't have wasted my time. I came home without my kids and cleaned my desk and dining room table. I did my fathers vital signs and transmitted them to the VNA.
I set up a few Ebay auctions of a few of my Comic Books to see if this is something that I might do on a regular basis. Lord knows I could use the money to help out my parents. I think I need a small vacation and I might go on an adventure to NH real soon. I want to test the waters with an old friend.