June 2, 2011 - Life continues!

June 2, 2011 - The day started off as a trying time. I did three S's as I always do (Shit, Shower and Shave) Since monday was a holiday trash goes out a day later. I gathered all of the trash bags and tossed them down the stairs. I grabbed Buster (my dog) and headed downstairs. I tossed the trash off the front porch and brought Buster to my father.
My Dad has a visiting nurse that comes once a week. She brought a home monitoring device that consists of a scale, blood pressure cuff and a heart beat monitor. After your done the machine transmits it to the VNA. But if you don't do it, the VNA haunts you looking for the results. It is always a production for my father. He doesn't want to be bothered with it. But if I don't do it, Mom calls me on my cell phone every time they call her looking for the results.
Of course Mom can't do it because you have to push a couple of electronic buttons. You have to be pretty quick. It's scale, put on the blood pressure cuff, and heart beat monitor. Then after all that is done it will ask you a number of questions. "Do you have trouble breathing?" - no is always answered. "Are you tired?" Of course Dad is always tired he is 87 years old. "Do you want a clinician to call?" I "I don't want those ugly women here today!" is the usual answer. After answering the questions the machine sends the info to the VNA over the phone lines. With my luck ...... it was an epic fail! Had to do it all over again.
Now if that wasn't enough to start the day, I needed to go to the ATM. There should be an aptitiude test for ATMs. If you don't pass the test your not issued a debit card. I mean it's only one button to get 40 dollars at Bank of America. Well I got into the line for the drive thru line for the ATM. This older man pulled up and proceeded to push buttons. Bang, Bang, Bang! His finger pushing harder and harder, like it would make a difference. Or as if by some miracle if he hit them hard enough they would understand what he wanted. More buttons were pushed and nothing happened. As time was wasted, I began to get frustrated. Finally I shouted out, "Hey pal, you can't initiate a hostile corporate take over from an ATM terminal. No matter how hard you pound the buttons!"
He replied, "Go fuck your self you fat fuck!" Like I haven't heard that before! I've heard it every day of my life for the past 40 years!